I've said it before and I'll say it again, I love my Green Bay Packers. My all-time favorite team, my all-time favorite sport. The idea of switching allegiances is repulsive to me. So, good or bad, win or lose... They're MY team. I LOVE 'em!
On the other hand, are the Milwaukee Brewers. I really, really like the Brewers. I hardly ever miss a game (or at least part of it). I could probably give you the line up and batting order off the top of my head. I enjoy following them.
But only because they're in a battle for first place in the National League Central.
I suspect that if they were standings bottom-dwellers (as they have been for so many years), I probably would've stopped watching/listening/following sometime around Memorial Day. In short, if there's no chance for them to make the play-offs, I can find better ways to spend Summer evenings.
If they're not winning, I'm not following. I'm a fair-weather fan.
And, as it turns out, I'm a fair-weather fan of me, too.
This journey of mine got off to a fast start. I sold out for the fitness regimes. Made connections with rockstars in that area (Kat V. and Zac & Fawn W.). Plunged head-long into better eating and meal-journaling on MyFitnessPal.com. And so I saw quick, big drops in my weight and in my belt notches.
I was proud of the immediate progress. I shared that success with others and they answered with shouts of acclamation and support. Folks were calling me an inspiration. I practically doubled my efforts. Engaged more deeply. I got addicted to the success and the resulting support. It was a very heady experience.
"60lb goal? Bah. 100lbs? Now we're talking!! That's, like, 10 weeks from now at the rate I'm on. I'll be skinny by Halloween. Maybe I'll go trick-or-treating as a Chippendale's dancer!!"
Then came week two.
Despite the efforts (and against the direction of TeamWoodfin), I weighed-in frequently only to find the progress had ground to a complete stop. In fact, yesterday I learned that I was moving backwards weight-wise.
"Backwards?! Are you f-ing kidding me?!? Backwards? This is a lot of work to move backwards. A LOT of work! Hell... I can eat sausage biscuits and tubs of movie popcorn to move backwards. I certainly don't need to count every gram of fat and every calorie I put in my pie-hole to get THOSE results."
Yesterday morning at this time I was ready to give up. "Screw it," I thought. "I'm just meant to NEVER drop below 300 pounds. I'm meant to be fat forever."
And then that defeated (defeatist) attitude permeated my whole outlook on everything in my life. Yesterday we had a booth at The Wedding Show: Summer Edition at Shopko Hall. I didn't even want to do it anymore. Our booth looked sucky. My work wouldn't compare to others. No one would want to stop and talk to the creepy, fat photographer. I was broken... again.
But like Abe's uneaten Sausage and Cheese Biscuit, I stopped and refused to swallow that idea. I spit it out. (By the way, I didn't get that far with the SCB... I just threw that away.) To quit would be an insult to everyone. It'd be an insult to the people who've already invested their time into this journey of mine by teaching me and training me into a new lifestyle. It would be an insult to the people who've taken the time to say, "Way to go! - I'm rooting for you!!" It would be an insult to those people who've said that my efforts and bravery and transparency have been an inspiration for them to make changes in their own lives; to start on their own journeys. It would be an insult to Kate, who's been so super supportive. And, not least of all, it would be an insult to me. The today me and the tomorrow me. I owe myself more than quitting. I have to be my own biggest fan. The president of my own fan club.
So even when I'm behind on the scoreboard, even when I'm at the bottom of the standings, even when it looks like I've got absolutely no chance to succeed, I'm STILL gonna be a fan of me. Fair weather or not.
You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have. ~ Unkown
Honestly, at least you don't have it as hard as Lions fans- they stand out there all day half naked in -40 degree weather to watch a team they know is going to lose.
ReplyDeleteYour both was not crappy. The first thing that I wrote on my notes sheet after visiting you was that I liked your personality. Then it changed to my favorite personality.
ReplyDeleteAlso when you are start a journey on losing weight you will lose a lot the first week and then it gets harder. It sucks. Even though we don't have the same weight lose goal; it's a struggle for myself as well.